Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Unemployed + Beauty Tip

I have really dropped the ball lately with my blogging and I truly apologize for the grief it caused you and your loved ones.  I would promise it won’t happen again but frankly I can barely commit to plans a day in advance. 

Just relax now, beloved friends, for I am back in action.
A few days ago, a new homeless man was lurking about the street corners near my work looking attractive as all get out with scruffy facial hair and a beaming smile. It was plain to see that this man, who was begging for money, was happier than I was and I certainly couldn’t have that, now could I? On a whim, I went straight up to my boss’s office and quit and then I went right back to the sexy homeless man’s corner and jacked him of all the money he had earned that day just because I couldn’t stand to see his arrogant smile. 

As it turned out, he was smiling because he was extremely high and I quit my job for no reason at all. None the less, here I am, unemployed. 

Since the days of my unemployment, I have really taken a turn for the worse. My health has declined rapidly and I no longer have health insurance. If you don’t pity me enough already, here is the kicker: the gas station nearest to me no longer sells my favorite wine.

On the bright side, I've finally found a way to look your absolute worst and still go out in public:


Give it a shot and you won't be let down.  My unemployment and imending death is really paying off for you people so it's a shame I start my new job on Monday. And don't worry, I will still have plenty of amazing resumes to share with you in the new job!

Until then, I will be day drinking my life away... Cheers!


Whitney Ellen said...

Now I just kind of want to quit my job and come day drink with you all day.

Helene said...

haha omg. this is awesome.

That's What She Read said...

Thanks to Helene's tweeting a link to your blog, I just started my day off laughing. so cheers to you!

LoveCaroline said...

Awesome! Hope you enjoy your last couple days of unemployment!
Found your blog through the blog Chasing Texas and am a new follower! Would love for you to visit my blog!



Cheltee T. said...

This is freaking amazing! LOL
Found your blog through Helene's Sponsor Post, so glad that I was nosy.
Newest Follower!


Southern Sass said...

Just found your blog through Helene's. So glad I did. new follower :)

Amy said...

haha just found you today, hilarious! enjoy your week of freedom and wine!
Coffee Beans and Bobby Pins

Last day to enter the Mary Nichol Handbag Giveaway ($475 value)!

Jordyn said...

Haha your blog is so cute and hilarious! I can't wait to read more (:

Alex[andra] said...

I also found your blog from Helene's. This is great stuff! I hope you'll be updating regularly. Following along.


Night Owler said...

hey there. I'm Laney and a Newbie here. Hope you can come and follow me back! http://owltellyoulikeitislikeitornot.blogspot.com/

fb: http://www.facebook.com/LaneysNightOwlVenting

p.s. aww hun what happened and I know the feeling about being unemployed. been that way for 3 yrs now and no luck at all. it sucks.

Madeline said...

Kasey I've nominated you for the liebster award cause I love you and your hilarious self haha check it outtttttt mynameismadeline.com

Cortne said...

You are hilarious.

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